He stooped and peeped through the keyhole to see what was inside, and was greatly astonished at beholding a beautiful girl, clad in a dress so dazzling that he could hardly look at it.
Are You Obsessed with the Idea of a Fairy Tale Relationship?
The dark gallery seemed darker than ever as he turned away, but he went back to the kitchen and inquired who slept in the room at the end of the passage. So he rode back to the palace, his head filled with the vision he had seen through the keyhole. All night long he tossed about, and awoke the next morning in a high fever. The queen, who had no other child, and lived in a state of perpetual anxiety about this one, at once gave him up for lost, and indeed his sudden illness puzzled the greatest doctors, who tried the usual remedies in vain.
At last they told the queen that some secret sorrow must be at the bottom of all this, and she threw herself on her knees beside her son's bed, and implored him to confide his trouble to her. If it was ambition to be king, his father would gladly resign the cares of the crown, and suffer him to reign in his stead; or, if it was love, everything should be sacrificed to get for him the wife he desired, even if she were daughter of a king with whom the country was at war at present! As long as he lives I shall remain the most faithful of his subjects!
And as to the princesses you speak of, I have seen none that I should care for as a wife, though I would always obey your wishes, whatever it might cost me. She is a girl who wears a black, greasy skin, and lives at your farmer's as hen-wife. It is the whim of a sick man, no doubt; but send at once and let her bake a cake. But whether she had actually seen him or only heard him spoken of, directly she received the queen's command, she flung off the dirty skin, washed herself from head to foot, and put on a skirt and bodice of shining silver.
Then, locking herself into her room, she took the richest cream, the finest flour, and the freshest eggs on the farm, and set about making her cake. As she was stirring the mixture in the saucepan a ring that she sometimes wore in secret slipped from her finger and fell into the dough. When it was nice and brown she took off her dress and put on her dirty skin, and gave the cake to the page, asking at the same time for news of the prince.
But the page turned his head aside, and would not even condescend to answer. The page rode like the wind, and as soon as he arrived at the palace he snatched up a silver tray and hastened to present the cake to the prince. The sick man began to eat it so fast that the doctors thought he would choke; and, indeed, he very nearly did, for the ring was in one of the bits which he broke off, though he managed to extract it from his mouth without anyone seeing him. The moment the prince was left alone he drew the ring from under his pillow and kissed it a thousand times.
All this worry brought back the fever, which the arrival of the cake had diminished for the time; and the doctors, not knowing what else to say, informed the queen that her son was simply dying of love. The queen, stricken with horror, rushed into the king's presence with the news, and together they hastened to their son's bedside.
We will give her to you for a bride; even if she is the humblest of our slaves. What is there in the whole world that we would not do for you? The finger which that ring fits has never been thickened by hard work. But be her condition what it may, I will marry no other.
Then the king went out and ordered heralds and trumpeters to go through the town, summoning every maiden to the palace. And she whom the ring fitted would some day be queen.
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First came all the princesses, then all the duchesses' daughters, and so on, in proper order. But not one of them could slip the ring over the tip of her finger, to the great joy of the prince, whom excitement was fast curing. At last, when the high-born damsels had failed, the shopgirls and chambermaids took their turn; but with no better fortune. She, too, had fallen in love with the prince in the brief glimpse she had had of him, and trembled with fear lest someone else's finger might be as small as her own.
When, therefore, the messenger from the palace rode up to the gate, she was nearly beside herself with delight. Hoping all the time for such a summons, she had dressed herself with great care, putting on the garment of moonlight, whose skirt was scattered over with emeralds. But when they began calling to her to come down, she hastily covered herself with her donkey-skin and announced she was ready to present herself before his Highness. She was taken straight into the hall, where the prince was awaiting her, but at the sight of the donkey-skin his heart sank.
5 Reasons Fairy-Tale Romances Almost Always Go Wrong | Psychology Today
Had he been mistaken after all? Now, if there was a pattern of freeloading on the part of the man, or if there had been an agreement prior to the marriage that the wife would not be working I could understand this in part , but the attitude of material entitlement that some women seem to enter a marriage with is really in line with the princess fantasy. In that case, I feel very sorry for the man. I feel very sorry for the woman who has to cook for and clean up after men with no pay and little thanks or respect. There's plenty of entitlement on the part of men. I tend to like most articles that pop up on my news feed but I have to disagree with this one.
If anything I found this article itself more sexist than the gender inequality you mentioned within. Your article suggests that if a woman wants to be treated like a princess then she's giving up her rights, freedoms and individuality, when in fact a woman who chooses to be the princess with her knight in shining armour is exercises said rights, freedoms and individuality to choose to be in the type of relationship she wants to be in. There are many men out there who choose to be the one taken care of by the woman, but obviously that's nothing to do with gender equality, it's just what both partners want in the relationship.
Of course women can choose to be in unrealistic and dissatisfying relationships. The article is just saying why that choice is not healthy.. At first I thought this article was interesting, but after reading through all the points I realized how lopsided it is. The whole article only weights a single, heavily biased perspective, which is the notion that fairy tale culture hates women. Not only is this imbalanced and does not properly account for counter-perspectives, but it also only addresses the issue from the female point of view.
So at the very least, this article should be entitled "5 reasons why fairy tale romances are misogynist'. At least then people looking for an academically rigid article wouldn't have to waste their time reading a neofeminist and ethnocentric rant on how evil cultural norms concerning romantic relationships are. I usually love Psychology Today articles. This piece by contrast demonstrated a disappointing lack of objective rigor. Have to agree with other comments. This article actually stands as an excellent example of the huge problems with the current wave of so-called 'feminism' and for that matter, so-called 'psychology'.
Maybe she doesn't care if other people think it is "degrading". Maybe she's made a choice as a human being to live her life the way she wants and maybe she's entitled to do that without judgement judgement which seems to come mostly from other women. Perhaps the one thing that undermines the theory that it is degrading is the very fact she was empowered enough to make a choice for herself as an individual and not follow a role dictated to her by someone else because she is a woman. And perhaps the whole progress of feminism has been stunted by women telling other women what they should or should not do, or what is or is not degrading according to some societal 'rule'.
Maths and science were and still are predominantly pursued by males therefore any woman who doesn't pursue those interests is somehow degrading herself by choosing not to pursue something that does not interest her? Her life is being defined by making society look more equal than empowering herself and making her own choices? Women are already being pressured to take on a variety of roles, from mother to career woman, to wife, to feminist.
Perhaps if women felt they could simply do what makes them happy and didn't feel like they constantly live up to this new feminist expectation, their self-esteem would soar. Just because a woman focuses on romantic goals does not mean she does not have other interests and pursuits outside of the realm of career or academics. Come on, now. An equal relationship does not need to mean both partners are equal at all times.
A relationship also rarely involves two people taking on a specific role that never changes. It's perfectly possible to take on the princess role, and the fairy tale ideal and also enjoying other dynamics within a relationship. And nobody needs to sit down, talk and cast themselves in any roles. Ironic, considering the princess role is precisely that. The article is simply stating that pursuing unrealistic notions of romantic relationships is going to cause both women and men disappointment and misery. No-one is saying that you can't prioritize your intimate relationships over career or choose your relationship etc.
I agree with the other people comments who also disagree with this article. Personally, I liked feeling protected by a man. I really enjoyed both books because, it explains me as a woman, it was very eye opening, and it really validated me. I truly dislike when people want to compare me to a man. It's like comparing apples and oranges, but I truly enjoy being a feminine woman.
Now, I wear sweat pants, and no makeup plenty of days, and I even like to wrestle sometimes, but in saying all of that I am very much a female, I have no desire to try to compete with my male counterpart.
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I'm not saying women can't do what men do, but we are built differently. I think our differences help create balance.
I'm not a fan of this article. It explains you as a woman. You want to believe the fairy tale. Whirlwind romances are so appealing because they boost the ego: You are put on a pedestal, treated as a cherished object of love, given gifts and flowers, perhaps even over the top outings, trips and dinners to lavish places. Intuitively, you probably know this type of treatment is not sustainable nor does it lead to substance. It is the icing on a cake and very superficial but it is fun and glamourous. Additionally, there is not much effort on your part; it is a one-sided experience.
While the media loves to portray women needing a white knight in shining armor who will swoop in and rescue her from a boring, monotonous life, it is not authentic and should not be your aspiration for commitment. Remember: the most romantic relationship you will ever experience is the one that you nurture over time with a man who treats you with the love, honor, respect you deserve. He will be trustworthy and stable in his emotions, devoted to your shared life together. He will dependable and reliable and those positive character traits are more desirable and romantic than any idealized grand gestures.
The Donkey Skin Girl
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